Reflections about Empty Nest Syndrome

Why some posts about this?

Some of Amalia´s words 

I have a son and a daughter both, married. When I started menopause, something inside me asked for a reframing of my life. Wrinkles, white hairs and, certain slowness to think, decide, and act, started inside me- now, except the wrinkles and white hairs (that insist on proliferating) other symptoms are already gone, but, left me a legacy for my life: it’s time to go ahead, bury the “dead” and be back to have dreams.

So, an empty was installed in my heart and mind. Would be an Empty Nest Syndrome?

With my son edging almost 30 and my daughter almost 25, that nest has been empty already some time.

But, I really began to charge them a grandchild. Or, Why not two? Seeing that this charge filled my daughter with anguish and boring my son, I thought it best to fill my life with things that I could do by myself. 

And, came my first lesson to be a grandma:

Any Grandchild is one that somebody has to do for you.

So, there is nothing you must do about it.

I realized that I was being egoist, imposing to others the rhythm of my biological clock that’s driving me for the last (but long) steps of my life in one subject that my choices don’t care about and I cannot control.

• I had my children when I wanted.
• I am from a generation that the mothers told us:
• Must do just one child.
• Children are very expensive and are hard to educate a lot.
• Don’t have more children or You will finish like me.
• We create children for delivery to the world.
• Children created, double work.
• A mom is for 100 children and 100 children are not for one mom.

I confess I didn’t care about those warnings and I didn’t get more children because my biological clock already was alerting that the climacteric was close and my marriage finished sooner after my daughter’s born.

So,  when my maturity has made me see things in a different manner, the idea of one baby arriving would be fantastic! Right now, I had to learn tasting more lessons about patience and resignation.

I expected a grandson… lessons about patient and resignation. Credit photo: Matthew-Bennett by Unsplash

Like I fill my life with many works, study and in addition, I moved to another country recently, almost rest no time to live a grandma’s life – perhaps it was a solution that I found not to be waiting for what will come or not… who’s know?

Talking with other women, I undertook this is a pain of our generation. Many children decided not to get babies. Others assumed their homosexuality. Some are replacing human babies (temporarily or not) for pets.

Because of this, I think it will be a good adventure for me to talk about this subject with you.

If you intend to be a grandma or granddad, use this series of texts to reflect on the importance of conciliating expectations.

If you are a son or daughter and have been pressed, I hope you find a way to the dialogue.

Everybody is welcome!

Credit photo: by Darwin Vegher on Unsplash

Other posts about this subject:

I was expecting a grandson and they brought a cat! (I)

I was expecting a grandson and they brought a cat! (III)